O Captain. My Captain.

Okay, I am ready for 2023 to end.

I was a snarky teenager when I first read Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays with Morrie. That specific genre of books has never, and will never, enthral me in the ways it is meant to. But years after that first read—which, to be completely honest, was accompanied by a lot of snorts from me—I came across a quote from the book on the internet. Yes, it was one of those quote/insta poetry pages. Yes, I enjoy occasionally making fun of Rupi Kaur’s poetry. I am a person of varied interests. But to get back to the point, the quote was, 'Death ends a life, not a relationship.' My first instinct was to roll my eyes at it. It does have the same quality as the thousands of quotes we see embroidered on throw pillows. A cute grandma who likes knitting would have a pillow like this. But I woke up this morning to the news that Andre Braugher, our very own Captain Raymond Holt of the 99th precinct, had passed away. I thought of the quote in a new light.

As we come to the end of another year—how is it almost 2024? I am still coming to terms with 2020—we once again find ourselves wondering aloud how we have lost so many people this year.

Our world is a strange place right now. There are people for whom war and genocide are their lives, and others who don’t bat their eyes at all the death and bloodshed. In such a time, it might seem a little strange, and even frivolous, to talk about the death of actors and celebrities. And I won’t agree with that argument. But what would humans be if they didn’t turn to art for comfort during such uncertain times? How can we not take a moment to mourn such a loss even when the world is falling apart?

When I was a child, I would excitedly watch the Filmfare Awards—self-proclaimed as the Oscars of the Hindi film industry—every year. My family would make an evening of it, ordering in good food, often opening bottles of alcohol for the adults and coke for me. At some point during those functions, there would be a segment that showed black and white portraits of all the people the industry had lost that year, accompanied by sad music. (Why does my brain immediately start playing ‘Zindagi kaisi hai paheli’ when I think about this?)

Waking up to the news of Braugher’s death in the middle of December felt a little like that after losing another sitcom favourite, Matthew Perry, so recently. (I made the mistake of googling 'Celebrity deaths in 2023' while writing this article and came across Harry Kissinger’s name. Some deaths we do not mourn!)

For eight seasons, Braugher played one of my favourite characters ever. The black, gay, dry, lovely, oatmeal-loving, dog parent, Captain Raymond Holt, on the show 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine.' There are some shows that, to use a Gen Z term, live rent-free in your head, and 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine,' for many, including me, was one of them. Quotes from the show are parts of my daily vocabulary. I say 'Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.' at least five times a day. My favourite T-shirt has the words 'You took the wrong Fluffy Boy' on it. I cannot sing ‘I Want It That Way’ by the Backstreet Boys without singing ‘Now Number 5’ and following the song with ‘Chills! I have literal chills!’ And I can almost tell you the exact plot of every episode of the show without having to look it up. (I have a weird memory for shows and movies.)

There’s a lot that can be said about 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine.' It is a comfort show with characters that are not afraid to be vulnerable. It breaks stereotypes in every episode. The muscular Sergeant loves his little girls and makes princess castles for them. The detective who loves his job leaves to be a good father. Two Latina women play main characters in the show. The beta of the show is also the character with the most heart. In the first episode of the show, while talking about the main character, Detective Jake Peralta, his Sergeant Terry Jeffords says, 'The only puzzle he has not solved is how to grow up.' As we watch the eight seasons of the show, we somehow grow up with them. (Is this cheesy enough to be on a pin cushion, yet?) And of course, we have Raymond Holt himself.

Ray Holt is the new Captain of the 99th precinct in the pilot episode. He is a rule-following, pencil-pusher who, much to the disappointment of Jake, is replacing the fun-loving Captain the precinct had until then. He is a washed-up robot. Meep. Morp. Zarp. Except he is so much more…

He is a black man who was out as gay in the '80s. He faced years of discrimination in the police force for his identity and that never changed his ambitions of one day becoming the Commander of the police force. After being stuck in the PR department for years, the opportunity to be the Captain of the 99 is his only chance to achieve that ambition. But what he gets in exchange is a slightly unruly team of misfits to manage. He manages to do that… And how?

In Holt, the show gives us a character with multitudes. He is Jake’s father figure (not brother figure). He is Amy’s mentor (who teaches her that eggs for breakfast is a big no-no). He is a great manager to Terry (who sometimes plays the villain to save Tiny Terry from his bigger brother-in-law). He cooks with Charles (even though he hates cheese and is not a curd-mudgeon). He supports Rosa when she comes out (by giving us the heartfelt quote, 'Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. So thank you.') He learns to get rid of his ego when Gina is the same personality type as him (even though she chooses a cookie over a blondie). He loves Kwazy Kupcakes. He loves his husband, the formidable Kevin Cozner, who hates a kerfuffle. And he loves his ‘fluffy boy’ Cheddar. But most importantly, he is 'a male, a human male!'

Braugher has played a cop before, and he even won an Emmy for his performance in the drama series 'Homicide: Life on the Street.' But with his portrayal of Ray Holt, he has given us a character that is both vulnerable and intimidating. He was the kind of character that is very rarely seen on TV. I am sure that a lot of people would agree that he was the kind of comfort character that stands out for ages.

There are a few shows that bring me comfort, especially when I’m alone or during difficult times. 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' is one of them, along with 'Modern Family,' 'Santa Clarita Diet,' and 'Friends.' These are shows that practically form the background music of my life. The knowledge that Braugher has passed away made me think that the show would lose its charm, in the same way that Matthew Perry’s death made watching 'Friends' a little different. But that’s where the Albom quote comes in: “Death ends a life, not a relationship.” Braugher might no longer be around, but his legacy lives on in the comfort Ray Holt brings to thousands.

'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' is not a perfect show. Addressing the debate about cop shows and their representation of the police, Braugher once said, “Cops breaking the law to quote, ‘defend the law,’ is a real terrible slippery slope. It has given license to the breaking of law everywhere, justified it, and excused it,” he said. “That’s something that we’re going to have to collectively address—all cop shows.” I would argue that the show is pretty near perfect, and Holt is possibly the most precious character ever.

I am going to end this with two of my favourite Holt scenes:

And, of course: